Consumed by Success

Money—instead of God—became the motivating force in my life.
-by Athena Dean

I was using my gifts to encourage people to make money rather than inspire them to a closer walk with Jesus.
The envelope with its blue and gold lettering was in my hand. With my heart pounding in anticipation, I waved it at my husband, Chuck.
"How much do you think it is this month?" I asked.
He gazed up into the air as if sighting an object far out of reach. "Hmmm … I'll bet it's $18,000!"
As I slowly pulled my paycheck out of the envelope, I saw the figure: $21,000 for the month!
Now, I thought as I looked around contentedly, we're finally cashing in on all our hard work!
Our entire family of six was going on a week-long Caribbean cruise. We'd just moved into a brand-new 3,500-square- foot house with all new furniture and a 180-degree view of Puget Sound . It felt so good.
Yet just that morning, I had read in Mark 8:36: "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" My eyes may have registered the words on the page, but they hadn't made it to my heart. For months my religious routine had been on automatic pilot—a quick prayer and a few minutes glancing at a psalm. I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard God's voice.
This financial dream-come-true had begun in August, 1991, when a woman at church "felt led" to give me a bottle of herbs to help me lose weight without diet or exercise. She let me know that if I liked the product and wanted to it, she'd help me. Since I was in full-time ministry with Chuck, who was executive director of Point Man International, a ministry for Vietnam veterans, she offered to pay for me to sign up as a distributor in her multi-level marketing business.
I tried the product and lost weight effortlessly. I was sold! I didn't pray about it, I didn't ask God if I should get involved, it just seemed right. After five years in the ministry with limited funds, I was ready to make some money.
I began looking around at church, scouting out the type of person who'd do well in multi-level marketing (MLM)—a business based on a network of people (your "downline") who join to sell the company's products and recruit new distributors. Then I noticed someone else struggling with a weight problem. Before long, everyone in church was a prospective distributor or consumer. I loved going to retreats and Bible studies because someone would always ask me what I did, and that would open the door for me to sell or recruit them.
I began running ads for the product on a local Christian radio station. I figured my credibility in ministry would attract honest, hard-working Christians into my business. My ads planted the idea that working in my business would allow you to get out of debt, send your children to Christian schools, or even fund ministry projects or missionaries. Filled with zeal to help others become "financially independent, " I wanted to make a ton of money so I could support Chuck in full-time Christian service. We worked feverishly, rushing our kids from school to babysitters to home, believing the sacrifice would eventually be worth it.
Within three months, my income was up to $2,500 per month. I never questioned the integrity of those running the company. When indications started to crop up that the founder was involved in New Age practices and was in his fourth marriage, I chose to look the other way.
By the end of my first year, we weathered three major management turnovers and numerous months when no one got their checks. Many people left the organization, but I had a vested interest because I'd earned over $50,000 that first year.
In 1993, I began a megablitz of radio ads on local Christian stations as well as many across the country. My income went from $3,500 to $9,500 a month within four months. From there it continued to climb by $2-3,000 every month. Others in my downline saw their income doubling and tripling.
Then I had a bright idea. Why not open up a product distribution center? One director offered to put up some money as an investment. Twelve of us formed a corporation, then sold stock to selected Christian directors in my downline. I leased office space and freely spent money on furniture, fixtures, signs, and sales aids. With the growth rate we were experiencing, we felt it would be only a short time before we would all see an incredible profit from our investment.
That first month we did over $100,000 in business; the second month we did $175,000. But I noticed troubling signals from the home office. They began making changes that directly affected our sales. Then, after a local newspaper did an expose on our herbal product, business faltered.
We continued to operate as though money was pouring in, but sales fluctuated drastically. Soon the company decided to make a major change in the compensation plan that decreased the pay of our workers by 50 percent. How could I promote the integrity of this company after it had become obvious they were unethical? To keep the ball rolling, I found another product for my organization to represent, and spent the next six months trying to build the same track record with the new company. Not all our shareholders agreed with the change, however, and when we quietly moved to terminate our contract with the herbal company and dissolve the corporation, everyone took a huge financial loss.
It was devastating to watch the deterioration of this group of believers. Friends were now enemies. Conversations that used to be filled with joy, prayer, and love were chillingly polite. We'd come together as Christians, but our overriding motive was the desire to make money. When the money was gone, many of the relationships were also.
In June of 1994, Chuck attended a weekend veterans' conference. I'm convinced God wanted me alone for a whole weekend so he could put his finger on sin in my life. He needed my full attention so he could begin to convict me on my heart motives.
For the first time in years, I felt an overwhelming urge to pray. As I did, a wave of guilt washed over me. God began to show me I'd been using my abilities to motivate people for the wrong ends. I was encouraging people to make money rather than inspiring them to a closer walk with Jesus.
I was scheduled to attend a leadership training session for the new multilevel marketing company with which I was working. I knew the Lord didn't want me involved, but I couldn't get out of the commitment because the company had paid my way.
On Sunday morning, each leader was to stand up and practice his or her motivational speech in front of the audience. Feeling disconnected, I listened as former pastor stood up and "shared his heart": "This is the most incredible opportunity you'll ever have a chance to be part of," he said. "This is a chance for you to make your dreams come true! It will change your whole life. I want to be able to tell my grandchildren I made a difference in this world. With this company, I'll be able to say that with conviction and honesty. And you can, too! Don't wait! You don't want to be left behind!"
If I hadn't known any better, I'd have thought he was preaching to the faithful. And he was preaching, but it was the world's fame, fortune, success. After that, I felt sick. I shrank down in my chair and stayed in the back row, letting one of the other leaders from our group do the speech instead of me. Running through my head was the prayer, God, forgive me for being so deceived!
I told my business associates I was finished. I knew I could no longer promote this "road to success." No matter what my financial condition, I never again wanted anything in my life that was not God's perfect will.
Today, Chuck and I work in Christian publishing five days a week, six to eight hours a day from our home. We're available when needed to stop and focus on our four kids, now teenagers and young adults. We're able to volunteer in different ministry projects at our local church, and every month God brings in just enough work to pay the bills.
When I was involved in multi-level marketing, relationships eventually became important only if they had the potential to make me money. I actually began to believe sharing my product was more important than sharing the Lord. It took the place of evangelism in my life! I went to church with business on my mind and encouraged thousands of others to do the same.
The truth is, the dream of multi-level marketing is big money, and the only way to make big money is to eat it, sleep it, and breathe it. You must filter out anything that gets in your way of success: people, marriage, family, ministry, activities, godly counsel, even the Holy Spirit's convicting power.
I allowed my business to draw me away from my family. Our daughter, Roby, now twenty-five, told me recently how as a sophomore in high school she'd run for class officer and had given this incredible speech at the opening assembly. I thought, I missed it. Where was I when she was growing up? Despite promises I'd made to slow down and spend more time with my kids, I never had. No matter how much money I made, I was still consumed by making more.
God continues to work in my life, but the lessons I'm learning aren't always easy. I still struggle with my relationships with my children, but my marriage is stronger than ever as I now share Chuck's burning desire to see people set free by the power of God. I'm leading a more balanced life, one that values relationships and God's will above all else. For years I was consumed with money, prestige, and recognition. I ended up with broken relationships, a fractured family life, and spiritual drought. Now I've chosen to be consumed by God's Spirit and his will. There's no question in my mind I've finally made the right choice.
Adapted from Consumed by Success by Athena Dean, Copyright 1996. Used by permission of WinePress Publishing. (1-800-917-BOOK) .

<span style="font-style:italic;">Copyright © 1997 by Christianity Today International/Today's Christian Woman Magazine. January/February 1997, Vol. 19, No. 1, Page 30